Blogs are not dead…they’re resting


This is an EX-BLOGGER!

At the beginning of the year Gartner proudly predicted that blogs are on the way out.

The prediction came as part of a larger report of the group’s top 10 predictions for 2007 and beyond and speculated that the number of active bloggers would hit its all-time high in 2007, leveling out soon thereafter (Gartner says that there are now 200 million ex-bloggers).

Like many people, I was skeptical of this broad statement – I mean it’s not like Gartner to make wild predictions. However, there was plenty of evidence to state that this may be the case.

B.L. Ochman and Hugh MacLeod both have differing views which I have shameless copied below:

B.L. Ochman
Reports of Blogging’s Death Are Greatly Exaggerated
Hugh MacLeod
Why we’re all blogging less
  1. Twitter is ephemeral.
  2. Limiting your network leaves you preaching to the choir.
  3. C-level executives are just getting comfortable with blogging
  4. Businesses have finally become much more open to launching blogs built on substantive and strategic premises.
  5. Blogs will become more communal.
  1. We got busy.
  2. Scoble quit Microsoft.
  3. Blogging isn’t for everybody. Web 2.0 is for everybody.
  4. Believe it or not, some of us have better things to do than to be continually justifying ourselves to a crowd of passive-aggressive, self-loathing, loser fucktards.
  5. The future we spent a long time evangelizing has already arrived.

Where does that leave us? 

I truly believe that blogging will evolve bringing in richer tools to complement it. I also agree with Gartner in that the numbers will likely plateau but the demand for ‘opinion’ will continue driving the need for quality niche blogs.

Whilst researching this blog, I found a great Monty Python parody on the dead blogger on Valleyway which would be remiss of me if I didn’t include… enjoy.

Dead Blogger Sketch

The cast:

The sketch:
A customer enters a datacenter.

Mr. Bloglines: ‘Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Bloglines: ‘Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean “miss”?

Mr. Bloglines: I’m sorry, my computer has a virus. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We’re closin’ to restart our generators.

Mr. Bloglines: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this blogger what I installed in a rack not half an hour ago from this very facility.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Drupal Fork … What’s, uh … What’s wrong with it?

Mr. Bloglines: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. ‘E’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, ‘e’s uh,…his IM’s on idle.

Mr. Bloglines: Look, matey, I know a dead blogger when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he’s not dead, he’s, he’s takin’ a break! Remarkable blog, the Drupal Fork, idn’it, ay? Beautiful comments!

Mr. Bloglines: The comments don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! ‘E’s idle!

Mr. Bloglines: All right then, if he’s idle, I’ll wake him up! (shouting at the server cage) ‘Ello, Mister Blithering Blogger! I’ve got a lovely fresh article from Digg for you if you show …
(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he pinged!

Mr. Bloglines: No, he didn’t, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Bloglines: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything…

Mr. Bloglines: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) ‘ELLO BLOGGY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o’clock post call!
(Takes server’s removable drives out of the cage and thumps them against the rack. Throws them up in the air and watches them plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Bloglines: Now that’s what I call a dead blogger.

Owner: No, no…..No, ‘e’s crashed!

Mr. Bloglines: CRASHED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You crashed him, just as he was rebootin’! Drupal Forks crash easily, major.

Mr. Bloglines: Um … now look … now look, mate, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That blogger is definitely deceased, and when I installed it not ‘alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of posts was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged flamewar.

Owner: Well, he’s … he’s, ah … probably pining for Fake Steve.

Mr. Bloglines: PININ’ for FAKE STEVE?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did his trackbacks fall flat the moment I got ‘im home?

Owner: The Drupal Fork prefers to moderate its trackbacks! Remarkable blog, id’nit, squire? Lovely comments!

Mr. Bloglines: Look, I took the liberty of examining that blogger when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been posting anything in the
first place was that it had an RSS feed NAILED into it.

Owner: Well, o’course it was nailed into it! If I hadn’t nailed that feed in, it would have nuzzled up to Fark and Digg, violated their terms of service left and right, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Bloglines: “VOOM”?!? Mate, this blog wouldn’t “voom” if you put four million visitors through it! ‘E’s bleedin’ demised!

Owner: No no! ‘E’s pining!

Mr. Bloglines: ‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This blogger is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to his feed, ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metaphoric processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the grid! ‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-BLOGGER!! (pause)

Owner: Well, I’d better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I’ve had a look ’round the back of the colo, and uh,
we’re right out of bloggers.

Mr. Bloglines: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a MySpace page.

Mr. Bloglines: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really. It does play this terrible song, though.


Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Bloglines: Well. (pause)

Owner: (quietly) D’you…. d’you want to be my Facebook friend?

Mr. Bloglines: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

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3 Responses to “Blogs are not dead…they’re resting”

  1. 1 Trends: blogging al cubo, al quadrato, all’ennesima potenza | Stalkk.ed
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  3. 3 Blogs are not dead…they’re resting (Dead Blogger Sketch) |

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